Love and Other States…

“It’s not what you look at that matters. It’s what you see.” Henry David Thoreau

Ever notice how different the world looks when you fall in love?  Birds are singing, problems become opportunities, you giggle for no apparent reason.  Same person who was grumpy and scared before ‘falling’ has a complete change of emotional state…outlook…perspective.

Have you ever noticed how subjective time can be?  Two people have the same amount of minutes in a day but one can achieve a tremendous amount more than the other.  Even the same individual can experience time in a distinctly different way.  When you are happy and loving the company you keep time literally flies.  When you are waiting for important news or nervous about an upcoming event the same amount of time can feel like an eternity.

I asked two friends who went to the same conference to tell me about it.  One began and after about a minute the other interrupted with “No, no it happened like this…”  They went back and forth until I asked, “Were you two at the SAME conference?”  They each had heard whichever words meant something to them at that point in their lives.  This is a fact and can be quite enlightening when identified.  All meaning is a matter of perspective.

The same information can be absorbed in different ways by different people…or by the same person at different points in their lives.

Have you ever read a book, gotten something from it, then read it again 10-20 years later and obtained something more or unique?  Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill is one of those books that I get some tidbit from every time I read it.

The way we think.  How we respond.  And the way we feel are all guided by perspective.  The beautiful part of this is that we have the ability to change our perspective in order to improve our lives.  How can we use this to our advantage?

  1. When you are struggling with a problem take a step back and ask yourself how another person would see it.  Or ask how you would view the same situation in 10 years.  Or simply ask “if this problem were solved what would it look like?” then backtrack to how that outcome would occur.
  2. Ever run into a wall in a conversation or negotiation?  Two people with two different views often dig in their heels.  Solutions and growth are more challenging when you have to hurdle a wall first.  Take a moment to put your view to the side and truly understand the other person’s perspective.  It doesn’t mean you ‘give in’ or ‘give up’.  It’s a sign of strength, not weakness.  And you just might learn something.

Action Step:  Ask yourself where you’ve been digging in your heels…where you’ve been putting up walls…where you might be facing a challenge that seems insurmountable…and go find a new perspective.  Read a book you wouldn’t normally read on the topic.  Ask the opinion of a person that comes from a totally different mindset.  Be open to the lessons the universe will naturally provide when you take off the glasses of a rigid perspective.  Email me at what you’ve learned.  I’m always open to a new perspective…


About FindYourFire

Writer, speaker, and life coach Heather O'Neill is president of Progressive Image and creator of the Fire in Five program...helping people reconnect and find the joy in their lives.
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