If you don’t get what you want…whose fault is it?

If your life isn’t exactly as you hoped it would be…whose fault is it?  I’m not trying to be antagonistic.  I’m curious what you think.  Some people would give a host of answers- parents, economy, boss, spouse, bad karma, the list can go on virtually indefinitely depending upon who you ask.

Some people will own up and say, “mine” but truth be told nine out of ten of those people wouldn’t be complaining about their life to begin with.  So let’s go back to the first group. 

I can certainly understand the appeal in placing blame when your life hits a pothole or a wall that seems to go on forever. Life can be challenging.  Bad things happen to good people.  But here’s the thing.  Problems occur for everyone but people choose different ways of dealing with it and the fact is:  The people that take responsibility move through the challenge quicker, learn from it, and become more successful than the people who place blame.

An epiphany occurred for me this weekend.  I have no problem asking for what I want in business, with my kids, or with my friends, but it’s a little different with my family (the one I grew up with).  We sometimes revert back to old habits when we have family get-togethers.  I had one this weekend.  I realized that I had always played the mediator role…sometimes at the expense of what I wanted. 

But this weekend I took a different approach.  I politely said what I preferred…hmmm.  A strange look but no major comments.  I did it several times and you know what?  Because I did it in a considerate way, they respected the fact that I stood up for myself. 

Here’s the lesson…ask for what you want.  You never know, you might just get it.  Don’t follow old patterns without testing the waters for growth and change.  Go for it! 

Action plan:  3 quick steps- 1.  Figure out what it is you want.  2.  Ask for it in a polite, respectful manner.  3.  Be willing to accept whatever response you get.  Pick something you want, follow this plan and please let me know the outcome.  Good luck!


About FindYourFire

Writer, speaker, and life coach Heather O'Neill is president of Progressive Image and creator of the Fire in Five program...helping people reconnect and find the joy in their lives.
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