Toxic Personalities…should they stay or should they go??

Let’s talk about relationships…

Recognize that your quest to follow your dreams may impact your relationships.  And your relationships may impact your quest.  Find the balance.

According to the Encarta Dictionary, relationship is defined as “the connection between two or more people or groups and their involvement with one another, especially as regards the way they behave toward and feel about one another.” 

According to Heather Hansen O’Neill, the definition of a toxic personality is “someone who attempts to push their negative thoughts and energy onto someone else, doesn’t see the ramifications of their actions, and isn’t willing to change.”

We concern ourselves with the attitude and feelings of the people closest to us because everyone wants to be connected…to be loved.  The right relationships can foster growth and joy and help you achieve your goals.  The wrong relationships can hinder you and create an air of negativity that will bring you down and not allow you to achieve your full potential.

Following your dreams will positively impact your relationships.  When you live a life you love, you are happier and able to spread joy to those around you.  You set a positive example and become the type of person others want to be around.  This will bring more love and friendship into your life.

On the other hand, there will be some people who experience jealousy of your accomplishments or confusion and fear as to why you achieve things they haven’t.  Even those people who love you, with the very best of intentions, can squash your dreams because they are afraid you’ll fail and get hurt.  People need to understand that anyone who hasn’t experienced failure hasn’t lived..and certainly will never achieve true success.   Failure is part of the process.  We needn’t be protected from it.

You have a choice.  You can deal with the negativity of toxic friends and family.  Or you can limit the time you spend with unconstructive personalities.  The choice to give in to the negativity is tempting because it’s the easy choice.  But who ever said easy was best?

Surround yourself with encouraging people.  People who make you better, stronger, and more positive.  Give of yourself and your joy.  Your upbeat energy will draw people to you.  Support the cycle of giving and receiving positive energy and nothing will be able to stop you!  “When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.”  William Arthur Ward. 

Action Step:  Consider the six people that are closest to you.  Are they supportive or are they ‘toxic personalities’?  Limit the time you spend with negative people and search out smart, positive people that will strengthen your resolve to achieve a life you love.


About FindYourFire

Writer, speaker, and life coach Heather O'Neill is president of Progressive Image and creator of the Fire in Five program...helping people reconnect and find the joy in their lives.
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