The Clouds of Change

I enjoy sitting at my thinking place.  It’s where most of my blogs are written.

I came here today, not to write, but to breathe.  So much has been happening that I felt anxious trying to process it all.

When that occurs the best thing for me to do is to step away from the apparent urgencies and take the time to reconnect with…me.

An interesting day from a weather perspective- rainy and chilly one minute then sunny and warm the next.  Looking up at the gray clouds playing with the blue sky beyond, it seems to me the sky is craving more space to show off.

I watch as the wind makes the clouds dance. I see a bunny, that morphs into a dog mid cloud image for blogleap, that transforms into a fierce dragon- all within seconds right before my eyes.

And that’s when it happened.  The tightness in my chest dissipated and a sense of calm descended.  It became abundantly clear that the clouds were a message.

The message being…

Our essence, our being, doesn’t alter as change transforms us into newer, better, smarter versions of ourselves.  We can shift our views.  We can grow as people. But who we are at our core remains steadfast.

And in that there was comfort.

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To Be Seen…

eye pic for blogThe call had ended but his words still echoed in my ear, “Children just need to be seen…”

Such truth and potency in those simple words.  We were discussing expanding the L-FOCUS leadership summit for teens and a program to build confidence.  In this high tech, disengaged world, teens are losing a sense of worth and the correlating confidence because they rarely feel focused presence, the “I accept you just as you are” feeling of being seen.

I believe the world in general…people of all ages…crave this.

Recently I put a ‘call for connection’ request out.  I urged my contacts to reach out and let me know what speaks to their hearts, what drives them, what brings them to tears, what inspires them.

I wanted more than the typical “hey, how are you?”  “Good, You?” exchange.  I wanted to connect on a deeper level.

I had high hopes- but no idea how powerful this would be.

I found out about close friends’ long forgotten dreams.

I heard stories of people who’ve gone through major pain and personal discovery and found strength they never knew they had.

People who came out of their cocoon of fear to blossom into exquisite butterflies.

People who have lost jobs and found their lives.

People who have lost loves and found themselves.

People who have lost the shackles of expectation and complacency…and found true freedom.

Listening, learning, getting to know them better enabled me to know who to introduce them to, to better help them, and to see potential opportunities for collaboration.

But so much more than that…in a world of faceless, nameless, emotion-lacking exchanges…I was able to see them.  Really SEE them.

And I came away the winner.  This experience has been a gift.  And I will never be the same again.

Action Step:  What can you do to both give and receive this gift today?

Reach out to me at with comments and questions.  And visit the new website at   I’ll be moving most blogs over to this format in the near future.   I’ll keep you posted.

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Raindrops and Humanity

rain on roofI love hearing the ping of raindrops on the tin porch roof.  There is something calming and nostalgic about it.  It brings me back to a time when my parents would open the garage door and set up lawn chairs so we could view storms as if it was theater…

The fact it’s December in CT and warm enough to be on the porch brings a whole other host of thoughts.  The world these days seems more than a little ‘off’.

I don’t discuss politics and I rarely watch the news. But for those of you who do I suspect you will agree with my assessment of the state of the world.

Recently my 14 year old son declared that he didn’t want to do things the way everyone else does.  Of course his statement begged the question, “What do you mean?”

He said, “Everyone I know goes to college, gets a job, gets married, has babies, and it’s just not me.  The world needs a change.  It’s a mess, Mom.  I think I need to do something about it.”

I told my friend about this and of course she replied, “Gee, Miss Moved-Out-of-Her-House-to-Take-on-the-World-at-17, I wonder where he gets that from?!”

I think my son is right.  He does need to “do something about it”.  The world needs his spirit, his innocence, and his perspective.

But I don’t think it’s just up to him.

I think we all need a little “I need to do something about it” in us.  Myself included.  Complacency is a disease.  Thinking someone else will handle it is the seed of a garden full of weeds.

If we all treat people with a little more respect.  If we each take responsibility for ourselves.  If every person looks at what they can do to serve the community…or even make one person’s life better.  Wouldn’t the world be a little less ‘off’?  Wouldn’t each person who does that be a little more proud, a little less scared, and a little more fulfilled?

My goal is to reconnect with that 17 year old, passionate fireball and find a way every day to make the world a better place.  And to give my sons the support they need to do what stirs their hearts.

….what is your goal?

Reach out and share yours with me.  I’ll include the best ones in my next blog.


It’s been right there all along…

The scent of a warm apple pie.

The echo of laughter down the hall.

A hug, a kiss, a sigh.

The ability to rise after a fall.

A time to lend a hand or a smile.

The dream that startles you awake.

Close at heart if not in miles.

A peaceful sunset on a lake.

No matter how hard a moment is right now.

The faith a lesson is in the making.

A trust in people not in how.

A life for living and for taking.

So much gratitude…

So little time.

To focus on negativity…

would be a crime.


Action Step:  Why are you thankful?  What brings you smiles and joy?  Who needs to hear ‘I love you’ or ‘I’m sorry’?  Don’t waste a moment…

Reach out to me at any time at  I’d love to hear from you!


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Freedom vs Consideration

eeyore quote on considerationThose of you that know me well understand how much I value freedom.  The ability to embrace who you are without the constraints of other people’s opinions of who or what you should do or be.  I think the beauty of the human experience is in our differences and the more we know and cherish who we are the more we can be open to, understand, and really love others for who they are.

Having said that ….

This most recent trip has drawn my attention to the fact that there are places where consideration is in order.

  • Excessive perfume on an airplane.
  • Excessive grunting in the public gym.
  • Excessive talking when the other person has already checked out.

I only witnessed the last one as a third party …and I don’t really have the expertise to weigh in on the issues of an elderly married couple….so I’ll focus on the plane and the gym.

Perfume is lovely.  It may be an extension of the sweetness of you.  I’m sure your significant other loves smelling it on their shirt after you leave.  Wear it around those loved ones.  Wear it when going out on the town with your girlfriends.  Wear it as you stroll outdoors.  But please understand that an airplane has no fresh air ventilation and the person sitting next to you (or several rows in either direction if you pumped not 1 or 2 but 4 sprays of the stuff that morning) may become woozy and end up with a headache.

Grunting.  Hmmmmm.  This one is interesting because I’m a fan of going the extra mile, pushing yourself, finding your boundaries….and sometimes that may require a bit of grunting.  However there is a line.  If you are grunting at every rep you need to lower your weights and work up to the grunt worthy weight.  If you notice people rolling their eyes and leaving the gym you might want to ask yourself if perhaps your grunts are excessive.  I had an inkling that the gentleman I’m speaking of was seeking attention when the grunts continued as he got on the stationary bike.  My recommendation is to seek attention in more positive ways.  How about volunteering at a soup kitchen?

Simply remember there’s a time and a place for everything. If you choose to run around naked when you live in a rural area with acres of property by all means do so.  If you choose to run naked in a 4 star hotel I’m guessing there will be repercussions.

We live in a connected, people focused world, where relationships are bonds we crave and appreciate.  So the ability we have to take a step back and ask if our actions are appropriate and considerate of those around us is wise.

Action Step:  Be observant.  Pick up on the cues of the people around you.  And ask if you feel that your actions may be offensive.  Simply asking will go a long way to increasing your consideration factor.

Comments or questions?  I’m here!  Reach me at

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Chains of Resistance or Flow of Success?

flowing waterPeople ask me all the time for strategies and tips on how to deal with change. There are many that can help you deal with change…but I think what is being asked is more about how to lead the change.  To no longer be at the whim of change…but to drive it.

Taking into consideration we only have control over ourselves and lead best by example- a focus on self and learning better internal strategies for adapting and leading change is my recommendation.


Let’s look at three areas:  Resistance, Choice, and Action

Resistance.  When you go through change the mind creates blocks from your fears.  This process constricts your mind and inhibits your ability to come up with creative solutions.  Everyone is different in how much change needs to occur before resistance sets in and also in how quickly they stay there.  Resistance can be debilitating for some.  Accepting the situation and moving to the next step is key.

Choice.  After you allow for the initial feeling of resistance understand that you get to choose how quickly you can work through it.  Refocus on the possibilities.  You have the power to choose how you think, feel, and respond to situations…even if you don’t have control over the situations themselves.  Often we give up that power.  Taking it back enables us to release the chains of tension that immobilize us.

Action.  Once we choose to no longer be constrained by change we can take action.  Movement creates energy, opens the mind, and frees the heart.  Take action to make the most of the situation, to learn from others, to cultivate options and you will generate momentum and solutions that would not have been created without this flow.

If you are experiencing a big transition in your work or your life remember that the faster you get through resistance, take back the power of what you control, and move to positive actions, the faster you will solve the problem, ease the stress, and create a more productive response to change overall.

Action Step:  Calm the storm by practicing acceptance of what is over resistance to what was.  View the big picture to find the reality of the situation and the opportunities.  Consciously choose how to think and feel about it and what possible actions you can control.

Be the leader that demonstrates strength and flow during change.

Reach out to me at with any questions or comments.  You can also find information on the new Leading the Change 6 part audio series at:

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Life Changing Moments

future of our youth quote I just returned from a week long experience as a coach at the Anthony Robbins Foundation Global Youth Leadership Summit.  Around 350 kids from 42 countries, ages 14-17, plus youth leaders, the other coaches, powerful content, and more.

These teens came to us the first day…some scared, some mad, some excited, some shy, some overly talkative, some in pain, all different and beautiful in their own way.

They left strong, confident, radiant leaders ready to take on the world. quote about self

The transformations were incredible.

One arrived so withdrawn she literally shrunk from my light touch on her arm as if my fingers were made of fire.  We’ll call her Jane.

One had a chip on his shoulder so large his anger at the world could be felt from across the campus.  We’ll call him Bob.

There were many Janes and Bobs.

They came mad at parents that ‘made’ them come, afraid of being judged, doubtful they would fit in.  And were immediately greeted by another group.  A group that has been there before or heard about the program from an older sibling.  They were different.

They were balls of light and laughter.  They were excited and ready.  They knew their mission.  Their job was to open the hearts and the minds of the Janes and the Bobs.  They engaged them with games.  Asked questions and showed genuine interest in the answers.  They appreciated the diverse cultures and viewpoints. They introduced them to others, started conversations, encouraged, and uplifted.

The combination of team challenges, amazing speakers, and content taught these students the power of self-love, finding their voice, kindness and contribution.  They laughed.  They cried.  They danced.  They sang.  They built lifelong more together helen keller quote

But let’s go back to Jane and Bob.  These were two specific, real examples (not actually named Jane and Bob).

I saw Jane, who was so closed off and scared when she arrived, two days later laughing so hard she was holding her stomach.  I noticed throughout the week how beautiful her smile was.  I saw a light of strength in her eyes that said, “I’m never going to let anyone hurt me again. But it’s ok to be happy.  I deserve to be happy.”

I saw Bob, stand and speak into the microphone about the pressures of where he came from. I watched in awe as the chip on his shoulder slowly fragmented and fell away.  I saw him working in a team and helping to support people whose ‘kind’ in the past had hurt his…knowing finally that these new friends were special and not to be judged based on the color of their skin, religion, ethnicity, gender, or anything other than who they were in their hearts.

These kids taught me things.  So many things.  More than I can ever write here.  But two in particular stood out to me.

  1. I had no idea just how prevalent the hurting is. How much these kids are suffering. The abuse, pain, and challenges they face must stop.  And I’m going to do my part to make that happen.
  2. These beautiful souls are resilient. Programs like this Global Youth Leadership Summit are transformative.  But the real solution is love.  The change will come when each person understands the power of kind words, honoring each other, and really seeing and loving another for who they are.  Simple moments of empowering or helping another can make a difference.

One of the speakers this week was Alex Sheen founder of because I said I would, a social movement and nonprofit helping to inspire people to follow through on their promises.  In honor of his challenge I am making a promise.WIN_20150811_202033

What about you?  It doesn’t have to be big.  What can you commit to doing that will help to ease someone’s pain or lift someone’s heart?

Action Step:   Right now make a choice.  Decide what you can do…from a daily act of kindness all the way up to ….well who am I to limit you by making a suggestion?  What can you do to make a positive change in someone’s life?  Make the decision.  Then take that action.   I know you will.  I believe in you.

For more on Heather or to learn about how she’s making out with her promise go to or email her anytime with questions at

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